The way couple's therapists can say this in a LOT of insidious ways: "Well have you considered that they're trying a-b-c?" It can also be hard to notice the difference between providing grace and gaslighting ourselves in abusive dynamics--esp if you've been conditioned to excuse those dynamics bc of religion, family of origin, etc. I loved the way Kevin Can F*ck Himself showed the contrast figuratively and literally.
Absolutely, and it’s not just friends. When my ex and I got into arguments he would bring this up a ton “I don’t call you names, I don’t yell at you” etc and that is such a fuckin low bar for a relationship! The fact that someone would even think to say it is so devastating for all of us. ❤️🩹
The way couple's therapists can say this in a LOT of insidious ways: "Well have you considered that they're trying a-b-c?" It can also be hard to notice the difference between providing grace and gaslighting ourselves in abusive dynamics--esp if you've been conditioned to excuse those dynamics bc of religion, family of origin, etc. I loved the way Kevin Can F*ck Himself showed the contrast figuratively and literally.
Absolutely, and it’s not just friends. When my ex and I got into arguments he would bring this up a ton “I don’t call you names, I don’t yell at you” etc and that is such a fuckin low bar for a relationship! The fact that someone would even think to say it is so devastating for all of us. ❤️🩹